N is for next step

So today is the first session of chemotherapy. I have to be at the hospital at 9 a.m. and the treatment should start at 10.00 a.m. ... fast forward 30 hours and I should be allowed home!

In some ways I am looking forward to it; obviously not the physical side-effects, but just the fact that it marks the start of the real treatment to actually kill the cocking tumours, and because it feels like it has been a long time coming, and once I have had one session and experienced how it affects me and my body, I will have a better idea of things I can and can't plan around my next three sessions, so I will just know what to expect.

I'm also glad that I'm in the hospital in Utrecht, yesterday I was in Nieuwegein, which is the same hospital, just a different location. All the staff and service are all excellent in both places, but the building in Utrecht is really modern and more pleasant to be in. The chemo ward is on the 5th floor with windows all around so it's light and you have a view - admittedly it's only of roads, a few houses and companies, (including 'Oracle, for those of you who remember the place!) but it's better than being in dark, dingy room with no windows or just a view of a wall.

So despite being nervous about it, I am quite happy to go there today. I have packed my bag with essentials and goodies... iPad, book, music, borrowed iPod with audio books (you star, thanks Marieke!) magazines, Guardian crossword book, sweets, snacks etc. I am curious to see how it will go. My mum can be with me the whole day and I assume that the first 4.5 hours, where the cancer-killing elixir is going in, I have to stay on the ward, but when I'm just being rinsed with saline and having to drink loads of water, I can probably wander around with my IV on a mobile coat rack, so we can explore the hospital. Might pop to the wig shop downstairs and start seriously trying on or at least considering my options.

What I discovered in hospital on Tuesday was that I can't edit my blog because of some hospital internet security issue, which I find very annoying because I have lots of time, and loads of inspiration! to write then. So if it is the same in Utrecht, I will just type up my blog and save it to upload when I get back home. Keep watching this space!

I've had about 3.5 hours sleep so far tonight and am about to go back to bed, ready to get up at around 7.30am so should be able to get a couple more hours in... that will be a great night for me... hardly slept at all the past few nights and was even worse in hospital. I imagine the chemo will take its toll and at least I will be able to sleep.

So, next blog post I will be a chemo patient and will no doubt have plenty to say about it! Nighty night xx