There are some similarities.. I'm pale, have become more and more nocturnal and can't cope with the smell of garlic! I know chemo heightens your olfactory powers and in the first few days after treatment it is particularly intense and any smell is hard to stomach, but even more than two weeks after chemo, I'm still really sensitive to the smell of garlic and practically everyone smells of it! It's so weird, I'm sure I probably smell of it too, but it's such a strong scent and one that seems to last days. I know I'm not going to disappear in a pile of ash if I get too close to it, but it causes an involuntary expression of extreme distaste, which could be interpreted as quite offensive!
I got the go ahead from the doctors to try without the tube feeding for a while, at least until after I have been at home for Christmas. They said quality of life is more important and if I feel so bad with the tube in, then I should just try to eat normal food and boost my calorie intake with some food supplement drinks which, although a bit synthetic in taste, are a huge improvement to having a tube stuck down my throat and dealing with a constant feeling that I need to gag. The bonus to that is that my night-time wanderings have, thank goodness, definitely lessened. I have actually slept one or two nights now without waking up before 6 a.m.! Such a relief, I don't think I have slept more than two or three consecutive hours since July.
Looking back at the last few months it's so strange to remember all the things we have gone through; I don't have any pain in my legs now... a few months ago that was one of the main complaints, together with pain management. Dealing with morphine patches and the horrendous side-effects of those. The constant coughing and loss of voice. I am definitely coughing less.. hardly at all actually. My voice still isn't back to normal, but it is much better than a month or two ago.
The main issue for me now is my weight and fitness level, I have been eating relatively well since Friday, really trying to eat as often as possible and a variety of foods. The problem is that I get full really quickly but that's ok, I just have to eat more often. I am embarrassed to say that I am now a bit out of breath after climbing the stairs... how shocking is that? I need to gain kilos and build my muscle again as well. Step by step, each day I feel like doing more.
It's Karen's last day here, it has been so lovely having her over; she's been such a star, hoovering, making me drinks, doing the washing up, keeping me entertained, introducing me to 'Flog It' and other questionable daytime 'light entertainment' TV! (not sure that is a good thing, but we had fun with the running commentary!) It's so special to have that friendship with someone that you can just be with them, not necessarily talking but it still be comfortable. It's not the same as having Caela here, of course, but it's the next best thing! So today is going to be a potter around the city, hopefully partaking of a few snacks here and there, Karen has a hankering for the infamous Dutch apple pie so that will be on the itinerary and there might be some festive treats around if there are any Christmas markets going on. Need to get the last few bits for Christmas.. I lost a week in hospital so I'm a bit behind. Although, in the end, it's not all about stuff is it?