Y is for Yawn

I've spent a lot of time in bed over the past two days... at home, not in hospital, which is a relief. It's nothing serious, just the usual post-chemo tiredness but it's still frustrating. I'm certainly sick of daytime TV and my bum is sick of lying/sitting but even though my mind keeps telling me to get up, my legs and the rest of my body don't want to cooperate. When I get up, I can manage to get a drink, get to the bathroom, and do what I need to do, but after a few minutes standing up, I need to sit down again.... grrr. My appetite has waned again, which obviously doesn't help my energy levels so I have resorted back to the liquid supplement drinks that I was having before Christmas. Not exactly tasty, but they do the job so it's ok.

I have a private group lesson this evening, which I really don't want to cancel, and I want to get out to get some fresh air today as well; two goals for the day, in comparison to the last two days that's a big ask.

Because I haven't been very productive over the last few days, my mental list of things to do has been growing by the minute. I need to prepare for the appointment with our new doctor next week. I have read about a Dutch politician who has cancer which has spread and his doctors used a DNA bank to identify cancer with the same DNA and then a treatment that had been successfully used on that cancer, was used to treat him. He was diagnosed five years ago, and he's still alive and doing well. There is an international DNA bank in Amsterdam, so I want to ask about the possibility of my cancer DNA being checked against that. I had the biopsy before I started chemo (thank you Dr Herder!) so I know the sample is already there. I know the chemo has been working and of course, I'm very happy about that, but I would really prefer to try another treatment which is not as harsh on the healthy parts of my body. I guess I've only been going through this since October so it's not that long really and I'm sure a lot of people have much worse experiences but I'm a bit fed up of it now. Maybe this is a temporary mental and physical dip.

I was offered a new teaching job via LinkedIn this week which I was really tempted to do, sounded great, in Utrecht and not a huge number of hours per week, but realistically I can't commit to it because I don't know how I will be feeling week to week and I don't want to start off like that with a new company. If it were working for an organisation which I have a track record with, then it would be different because they would be aware of the situation and more understanding but not with a completely new company. Oh well, hopefully in the next few months my condition will be a bit more stable, or at least predictable and I can take on more work commitments.

Well, I do have some lovely things to look forward to at the end of this week; going out for High Tea (on expenses!) on Friday with a team of colleagues from Hogeschool Utrecht. I've never been for high tea and to be honest, was never really interested in it.. if you're going out, why would you drink tea instead of wine and I would just feel guilty about pigging out on more than one cake in one day! Well, of course that has all changed, I'm not boozing anyway and I have calories to catch up on so bring it on! I suggested going to Karel V, which is a very posh restaurant in Utrecht. Of course I have never been there so it's a winner on all counts... I get to catch up with colleagues and get a taste of how the other half live. I've got a shopping trip planned with Di and Es on Saturday - actually a long overdue birthday treat for Esther (sorry Es!) and on Sunday a girl's afternoon catch up.

Right, time to make myself move... yawning as I type. Come on you lazy arse, get off the chair!