L is for lessons learnt

It's been a good couple of days; I went for my posh high tea on Friday afternoon with colleagues. It was very nice, the restaurant is part of a very expensive hotel and the building is suitably impressive so the whole experience was good - having a nosey round the hotel, catching up with colleagues, getting good service (not always guaranteed in the Netherlands) and having good quality food. However, I was a bit disappointed with the actual food, I mean it was well-presented, expensive ingredients, well thought-out and different, but not to my tastes. I have come to the (not that surprising) conclusion that my taste buds are too common for posh food! I did like the cake section, apart from pannacotta which is just not my thing.. I associate it with MasterChef not real restaurants. Overall I think it was all a bit too rich, lots of creamy sauces, creamy mayonnaise (though I'm sure it's called something much more sophisticated) and cream in general which I don't really like. They did have a Wagu beef sausage roll...again, I could taste the difference but it wasn't something I would particularly choose to have again. So, lessons learnt? I'm a cheap-ish date, I don't need to do high tea there again, be more selective about high tea menu next time!

Yesterday I went shopping, a very belated 40th birthday trip for Esther. We had a lovely day, two or three hours of very productive shopping.. shops all within close proximity and lots of sale purchases made. All in all, very efficient, then went for a long lunch. A really easy going, enjoyable day, as always.

The common factor in both these days? The consequence of a few hours chatting/socialising is feeling knackered and having a tired voice; it's a very hard sensation to describe, because it isn't a sore throat, it's kind of lower than my throat, but not in my chest. Anyway, it kind of aches and feels a bit tight. I went to bed for an hour or so when I got home yesterday and really slept.

I am searching for my 'new normal', i.e. what I can realistically expect of my body from now on. I know I'm only just over a week in from the final dose of chemo, so maybe I am still a bit weaker from that, but is an afternoon of talking and 'being on' the limit for my voice? Is a half day of shopping my physical limit? Ok, so I just have to get used to that. If I think back, I always used to be surprised at how tired I would feel after a day's shopping, but usually attributed it to the inevitable glasses/bottle of wine that usually accompanied lunch, so now that element has been subtracted I should, in theory, have more energy. So more lessons learnt: talk less?!, set the expectation bar quite low and be pleasantly surprised, don't plan too many (socialising) activities in one day.

So on that note, what am I doing today? Going to friends for an afternoon of eating and chatting! Well, it's all very low-key so it will be fine, though maybe having three consecutive days of going out isn't wise. I have a lesson tomorrow evening which I definitely need to be able to talk in, and have energy for, so tomorrow during the day will be a 'quiet' day. Good opportunity to work on my book: Ah-hem..which I am taking my time over or rephrased: procrastinating/fannying around/looking at Facebook and feeling uplifted by some clips from "Upworthy" or despondent by the unavoidable Trump crap. ...words literally fail me.....

Another lesson learnt this week: keep in touch with the in-laws! I had a bit of a tetchy app from my mother-in-law yesterday, mentioning that they had expected me to be in touch and let them know how they are because they are constantly thinking about my health. pffff. Background to that is that she often calls me on my mobile, which I often ignore, partly because I am not in the mood for chit-chat (in any language, but more so in Dutch) or just because I haven't heard my phone or am busy. I do usually send a short app if I haven't picked up. Anyway, she called twice on one of my pyjama days so I didn't pick up.. I sent an app saying I wasn't feeling good and did intend to call her but didn't get around to it. Thursday I had an afternoon relapse of vomiting so wasn't exactly up for chatting so it wasn't until Friday that I spoke to anyone all week (except caela but she is an exception). I hadn't even spoken to my own mum for 2 weeks! I am justifying myself, I can hear it, so I do feel a bit guilty, but also annoyed! I did respond to the app yesterday and apologised for not being in touch and explained why and Ed also called them yesterday which must have placated them, I hope, but I still feel under pressure. I know it's hardly a big ask is it - to call them once a week or at least answer the phone when they ring but I have to be in the mood and that mood, obviously, doesn't happen every week!

So the homework for this week: call in-laws, don't make too many dates, let other people do the talking: listening is also a good social skill, find the 'new normal'.