T is for To be Continued...

We met my new doctor, Femke, yesterday. She's really nice and I think we will get on well. I didn't get the same feeling as with Dr Herder, who had much more of a personal touch and was really chatty and friendly, but I think Femke will warm up as we get to know her! Anyway, she was good, she asked how I was feeling (and not just about the physical stuff) and answered all the questions we had.

So now the double dose round of chemo has finished, we looked at the results of the CT scan and blood tests. The tumor has shrunk again (hurray!) although not as dramatic a reduction as last time, it is still smaller which is obviously a good result, Femke said it was positive and they are happy with the results. We discussed the next steps and basically it is as we had discussed before, this 'maintenance chemo', which means it is half of the dose.. only one of chemo drugs, every 3 weeks. The positives of that are that the side-effects will all be halved (in theory) so my condition between chemo should be more stable and therefore I can make more definite plans in terms of work and what I can and can't manage. I was hoping for an alternative to chemo to be honest, but the other suggestions I came up with: immunotherapy, finding new drugs by using the DNA bank or hyperthermia are not options for me at the moment or are not proven to be as effective in the first stage, as chemotherapy is. The medical team in Utrecht have already contacted AVL in Amsterdam and sent the tissue results from my biopsy taken before I started chemo, because they are doing studies and trials for new medication based on DNA found in the cancer. They compare it with all the DNA in their bank to see if there are any markers in common and if so, what treatment has been given for that particular type of cancer. Unfortunately there isn't a straight match or medication at the moment, but there are some markers identified which are currently being worked on and tested so in a few months there might be a new treatment. Apparently this follow up chemo has, in their experience, much better long term effects, than immunotherapy at this stage in the treatment process.

I know it is good news... in simple terms, the cancer has got smaller not bigger and I feel so much better than I did 3 months ago. My cough has almost disappeared, I don't have any pain in my hips..or anywhere else, I'm not taking any painkillers. The only thing I still use is the morphine patch, but that is a really low dosage and I don't want to get rid of it just because of the horrendous side-effects you have to endure for the first three days of using it... god, don't want to go through that again! Apart from that, the only tablets I take now are vitamins and the days just before and after chemo some anti-nausea medication. So all in all, it is all positive, but I suppose if I'm honest, I was really hoping that they would show me the scan and the tumor would have been gone!... yes, unrealistic but you can't stop living in hope can you?

The really good thing is that I feel like I can make some more concrete plans because I have a rough schedule of chemo from now on.. basically every 3 weeks for the foreseeable future. I am going to start looking for holidays in May now - we are going to do something we have never done before.... a package holiday!... I have to admit that I feel slightly dirty considering the 'package deal' holiday! but hey, why not? I have looked at flights and accommodation separately and it's just so much more expensive so we are going to lower our standards and go for it. We just want to go somewhere warm for a week in May, we are not pretending to be going for anything other than warmth, relaxation and some nice food! The search criteria: a decent sized swimming pool, walking distance to a town for restaurants etc. and also to the beach. Don't want to fly for more than 3 hours really so our destinations of choice are Spain and Portugal. Just heard the weather forecast here today and it's not going to get above zero so the prospect of searching for a sunny holiday is a very attractive one!

Did my homework from last week... called the in-laws (twice!) and we are going to see them today, so I feel quite worthy now!