R is for recharged

You know something is wrong when you are dizzy and out of breath from cleaning the bathroom floor (unless you have a bathroom the size of a football field, which we don't!) so when that happened I realised that my tiredness from the previous few days, was the result of another very low haemoglobin level. Shit, bad timing again, my mum was arriving Tuesday morning (hence the thorough cleaning!) and the last time she was here, I spent two of the nights and three of the days she was here in hospital. This was repeated for my sister's visit when I spent nearly all the time she was here in hospital, so I was really dreading that happening again, but I felt really shitty. I called the hospital and they told me to go in for a blood test so I picked mum up from Schiphol, came home, had lunch and then we jumped on the bus (hmmm, inappropriate turn of phrase in this situation!) and went to the hospital. No surprise, the level had dropped since last Thursday and was even lower than when I had the transfusion last time. At least that explained how I was feeling and my white blood cell level is also really low which also contributes to that apparently. We had to wait about an hour for my bags, so we went and got some supplies for the duration (1.5 hrs per bag, with a bit of rinsing in between), well, I got some supplies; I can't believe how little my mum drinks... she doesn't eat much but that is no surprise and there is a history there but anyway, I think it is a generation thing... I ask if she wants a drink and she kind of looks at her watch and says she'll wait until... and then whatever the routine dictates! So she didn't drink anything from about 15.00 til about 20.30 when we got home!

So, that was Tuesday and yesterday we had a whole day out and I felt fine... no way I could have done that two days before. It's amazing what a couple of bags of blood can do! It was a beautiful sunny day yesterday, clear blue skies, mild and just gorgeous to be outside so that also contributed to my mood and feeling of well-being. We did a bit of shopping, had lunch with a friend, and then went to (try) and get my application for the Dutch nationality started. This was my third appointment at the city hall and the previous two times there had been some administrative reason why I couldn't get the process going; last time was because I needed my birth certificate legalised, so I sent the original off to the Foreign and Commonwealth office, paid my 44 quid for the pleasure and it came back within a couple of weeks. That was what I went with yesterday but apparently, the birth certificate I have is not a full one because it doesn't have details of my parents' names on it, which thinking about it, is weird, but when I went the time before the person hadn't queried it. So now, I need to request an extension to my birth certificate or an extended one, get that legalised and then go back. Deep breath... a bit annoying but whatever. I just wonder if my dad has another version... kind of don't even want to ask, as it will probably just be easier to call the relevant office in the UK and get it that way, but I should ask dad because it will save the fee if possible. I'll have spent nearly a hundred quid before I even pay for the process here... which is €180. Annoyingly, I won't have my passport before the elections in a month's time...grrrr. Mum was incredulous and has taken this issue on as her thing to be vehement and high-pitched about... oh no, I won't hear the end of this, even when it is sorted.

After the appointment we went to the cinema to see "Lion"; no spoiler but it's an amazing and emotional film, as usual I was sobbing at various points but at least it has a happy ending and it was also really good as it distracted my mum from my birth certificate issues!

Going back to the hospital this afternoon, to see what my blood levels are now and to go to the gym. My first hour-long session in a group, so the physio will be there supervising and there will be 7 of other cancer patients each doing their own thing. Apparently at the end of each session there is some kind of group game in the sports hall. Oh god, I'm kind of nervous about that... the apprehension and butterflies in my tummy are reminiscent of school days when being picked for netball or hockey! I wasn't the worst player but I was low on the scale .. and in terms of being picked for teams you can imagine how it went. I think I was picked more for friendship than ability.. not a bad thing actually so I was never the woman standing on the lonely side of the sports hall, but I was also never in the first half! I just wonder what kind of team game they will choose; they have a few different team games here, like handball, which I have no idea about so let's see how poor my performance is!

Today is also a baking day.. got my mum on the case with the lemon meringue pie and she's also brought a recipe for coconut pyramids (macaroons in a different shape!) so that will be nice.

I'm supposed to have my first maintenance chemo tomorrow afternoon but I think it's likely to be postponed because of my white blood cell level. The transfusion doesn't help that so my body has to do it on its own. I'd rather it be postponed if I'm not fully ready for it, because otherwise the likelihood of side-effects will be greater and of course I want to avoid that.