Literally and metaphorically... I felt in a bit of a fog this week and the weather has been similar but yesterday the sun was shining and as I waited for my bus (early) in the morning to go to the gym at the hospital, I felt like myself again. I had my final gym session with the physio. It has been fine but I don't really need to go all the way there just to use the gym so she has created a training programme for me which I can use and build up gradually.
My faith in humanity (and customer service) has also been restored by a couple of instances this week. Yesterday Ed called our gym to see if I could make use of his membership card for a couple of weeks while he isn't using it. He's been kind of out of action for the last few weeks because of a back problem,, so isn't going to the gym at all at the moment. I was kind of expecting the standard 'No, that's not allowed' answer, but actually they were understanding and quite flexible so I am allowed to be Edgar until he wants to start going again! Might need to work on my disguise - facial hair and height a couple of obvious ones to start with!
There was a young girl waiting for the bus while I was waiting to go to the hospital yesterday and when it came, instead of the standard public transport entry system that exists here, she waited and allowed me to get on first... should I be offended? Does that mean I look old? Sick? Or does it just say more about her than me - that she has been well brought-up and knows that someone who was there before you, should get on the bus first? It was another refreshing change; the usual routine for public transport here seems to be the opposite of what you'd expect, it's what you imagine would happen in an emergency situation with people elbowing their way out as if their life depended on it. Except in this situation, people are obviously moving in the opposite direction; when a train, or sometimes a bus, arrives people are fighting for most strategic place to stand for best entry position, even elbowing to get on, barely moving aside for people to get off first. It really is a point of anthropological interest for me; of course I know British people are renowned for their politeness and penchant for queueing etc. but the difference here really does still sometimes stagger me. Even in other countries like Spain, Germany, Italy, you don't see the same queue-averse behaviour that you see here. Not including places in Asia of course, traffic, and people have no rules at all and you just have to get used to that! I've never been to India, but if our few experiences taking trains in Sri Lanka was an insight into that, then the Netherlands is child's play in comparison!
Well, small things make the difference; the man at the gym and the school girl on the bus improved my mood and my day!
Had my first 'chemo-light' session yesterday as well and it was fine, seemed to be over very quickly, which is good and of course I hope the side effects will be on the light side, as predicted. Woke up early again today, I seem to be getting back in to my natural body-clock, of waking up and my mind being really active. The previous few months, I had been sleeping so much that getting up before 8 a.m. was a struggle, but now I'm often awake around 6 a.m.... not exactly my preference but at least I feel awake instead of sluggish and I don't seem to need to sleep during the day. Although, having said that, I do get these unpredictable lapses which are really annoying. Wednesday morning I had a spontaneous meeting with Simone and Maud, which was great, it wasn't a planned appointment (refreshing change!) but we just apped in the morning and I went to meet them. Had a lovely couple of hours and then on my way back to the bus, felt a wave of nausea, and had to rush into, very conveniently located, Tivoli to throw up... that feeling literally came on within 5 minutes. I then had to walk to the bus, and was debating whether I dared get on at that point.. didn't really want to be sick on the bus..not ideal. Anyway, mind over matter, I managed to hold it in until I got home and was then sick again, why? I hadn't had chemo for nearly 4 weeks by that time. Very annoying. So after that, it was an afternoon in bed for me to sleep it off and by about 6 p.m. I was feeling a bit more alive again.
I really hope I am ok for next weekend because we are going to Zealand (on the coast in the south of the NL) for a long weekend. Staying in a posh hotel with pool and gym and walking distance to a little village so should be nice. The week after that I actually have two full days of examining booked in for The British Council. Slightly apprehensive about that and how I will be in terms of my voice holding up for a whole day and also tiredness levels, but I won't know until I try and I really want to do it, for my sanity, for distraction, to see colleagues, because I enjoy it and because I get paid for it!
So up bright and early, got some cleaning planned, (visitor coming!) then making batch of soup, if time some work on my book and then Marion will be here and hope we can go for a walk in the park and maybe to a cafe for lunch or a drink. Feeling very positive today - hurray!