I is for Itchy

Oh my gosh, it feels as if I have sunburn, chicken pox and some aggressive mozzie bites at the same time! The skin around my neck is bright red and so itchy... it has woken me up and I can't stop thinking about it - actually writing about it makes me focus on it, but at least my fingers are occupied so they can't be scratching it! I've tried a cold flannel but that didn't work, have some soothing skin cream from the rashes I had last time, but that doesn't touch it...grrrr.. this is horrible.

I'm going to the hospital this morning for a blood test anyway, so will go and ask to see a doctor or nurse and see what they can give me, there must be some kind of cream that will soothe it. Last time I had a really big rash which looked really ugly, like I had acne down my back and from my neck to my chest, but it wasn't really itchy so I wasn't too bothered, but this is smaller and doesn't look spotty, just bright red. Bloody typical - we are going to Zeeland for a long weekend, leaving this afternoon, so I really hope I can get something to relieve it; I don't want that to spoil the weekend.

Apart from the rash, which has only really got bad in the last 24 hours, I have been ok apart from being tired and a bit sick. Sunday afternoon we cycled into the city to see Trainspotting (I enjoyed it, Ed less so!)- it was the furthest I had cycled for a few months and it really did tire me out, and after that I spent Sunday evening, Monday and Tuesday pretty much around the house on the sofa or in bed or not doing much. I am eating but have the disgusting, furry sensation in my mouth which makes everything taste the same and I haven't really fancied a lot of food. I actually managed to get out of the house yesterday, went to the supermarket and went to the station to meet a couple of friends in the evening for a while. It was so nice to be out and see people, but was shattered when I got home and now I'm up ridiculously early, even though I am still tired. Oh well, we have 3 days in a suite in a luxurious hotel to look forward to, with a pool, gym and nice areas to lounge around in so it will be a change of scenery to be tired in!

It sounds really wet and wild outside and I am tempted to go and stand out in it, to relieve the heat and itching sensation, but then I would probably catch a cold and make myself ill, so probably not the best idea.

A few people have asked me if this lighter version of chemo is noticeably lighter in terms of side-effects and, ignoring the skin-burning off sensation for a moment (wish I could) , I really don't know. Maybe my memory is really bad. Of course it is not as bad as the first two when I was back in hospital, but number 3 and 4 were both similar in terms of side-effects I think. I can't remember how many days I felt tired or nauseous for, or what I could or couldn't do. Maybe I should keep some kind of diary to record how I feel on each day of the cycle - it might help when I am planning things as well.

Talking about plans - we have booked a week's holiday in Tenerife in April! It is over the Easter weekend so will probably be full of Brits (yes, I know I will be one of them! it's not school holidays here so it's more likely to be people from the UK than Dutchies or other nationalities) on holiday and I am fully prepared for it to be tacky and touristy but I don't care. We have a nice apartment on a complex with a pool and it is next to a golf course so it looks out over some green areas and we are really just going for some warmth and to enjoy the sunshine. Having said that, my fake sun-burn is making me slightly hesitant about the sun! I am always really careful in the sun anyway, using factor 50, but chemo makes you more sensitive to sun damage so I will probably just cover up, wear hats and slather on more than usual. It's also really nice that it is only about 6 weeks away, so we don't have months to wait before we go!

The good thing about going to the hospital is that they are always open; it's not like waiting for your doctor's surgery to open. Think I will have a shower and then just get the bus straight there, the earlier I get my blood checked the earlier I get the results and I can hopefully get some cream to relieve the itching as well. I just want it to stop..grrr