P is for packing

I've achieved a few things on my list for today already: planted my broad beans, cleared the fruit bowl, was tempted to cut the grass but it's still too wet! Got a lot to fit in, not least packing for our holiday.... yes, we are going! Hurray! Got the go-ahead on Friday when I had my blood and urine test results - no huge change, kidney and HB levels are stable so the only issue Femke was concerned about was that I have enough, and the right pain killers. She also gave me all the official documentation that I need for flying with my morphine medication. I have been experimenting with the dosage over the last few days, trying to find the right amount and how often I need to take it, timing it so that it covers me when I really need it.. i.e. when I am going out or at night so that I can get to sleep. I have to say it can't be as bad as it was in September and October before I had the radiotherapy on my hips, because I am still able to sleep. It's weird how quickly you forget things. I know I was in so much pain that I was up every couple of hours and having baths in the middle of the night, but I can't remember it really clearly. I do have some level of pain most of the time, but I can manage it and it's not that bad.

I am also trying to keep active because I think that will help with the discomfort. I've been cycling more lately and went swimming on Saturday morning; it was the first time in months and I loved it. I didn't love the fact that I had to stop every 4 lanes for a breather, and that I only managed 32 lanes but I was impressed that my actual speed of swimming wasn't grandma-pace! I was still in the 'medium' speed lane and I even still overtook a few people (mini- achievement for the day!) It's great that I will be able to swim every day on holiday, so that should help me build up my strength. Not sure how much walking we'll do because that is quite uncomfortable for me at the moment, but we want to rent bikes so we can cycle down to the beach and explore the area.

I'm so excited, we fly at 6.25 a.m. tomorrow...mmmm, not particularly looking forward to getting up at 3.30 a.m. but we'll probably be awake anyway and I've already planned to catch up on any lost sleep next to the pool in the sunshine later in the day! (beats dozing on the sofa while half-watching 'Midsomer Murders'!)

We've got the appointment with the specialist in Rotterdam this afternoon. I am not sure how I feel about it; to be honest I have been more focused on packing and gettting everything ready for our holiday and going to the doctor has sort of faded into the background (probably not a bad thing). I am open to anything, not really getting my hopes up too much about what they will say because at the moment, I have no idea what that will be. The only thing I really hope is that it isn't a repeat of our experience in AVL in Amsterdam with a man whose face and bedside manner clearly do not belong in chronic medical care. Fingers crossed it is not disappointing and a waste of time. I don't want to go on holiday feeling let down, but whatever they say, I just want to focus on enjoying our week away. Hopefully the news today will only enhance our enjoyment, but even if it isn't the best, I am determined to have fun: nothing like a bit of forced fun is there?!