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F is for Flight

  • mrsdutchburger
  • Apr 15, 2017
  • 6 min read

The first note-worthy part of the holiday was that the flight was full of Dutchies! It’s a weird experience being on a flight with only one nationality – on a normal flight of course you have a random selection of nationalities, languages, ages etc. and although this flight did have a wide age-range, from babies to the grey army (although they are sometimes in disguise, with odd coloured hair and unusual wardrobe choices) it was only Dutch people… at least ostensibly so, maybe there were a few other infiltrators such as myself who had gone undercover and were hiding out amongst the cheese-loving tall ones. The announcements on the plane were only given in Dutch, very unusual, and it was all a bit well, Dutch!

So apart from it being a homogenous group of people in one way, there was a huge variety in many other forms! I wasn’t feeling on top of the world anyway, having had to get up at 3.30 a.m. so by the time we were actually on the plane at 6.30 a.m. I was awake, but didn’t want to be, and not really looking forward to the journey, because I’m used to flying to England which is a mere 45 mins, during which time you get served a snack and drink and it’s all quite civilised. Well this flight was about 4.5 hours and you have to pay for everything, surprised there wasn’t a lady sitting outside the toilet with a little dish making you feel guilty as you pat your pockets and say “I haven’t got any change on me”. Maybe her absence was only due to lack of space in the aisle… wasn’t there mention at one point of Ryanair going to charge people for using the loo?!

The plane was a 2 x 3-seat combination; normally we reserve seats in the middle and aisle so that we can get out easily and Ed can stretch his legs. Because of the reservation system for this flight, seats are automatically allocated and if you want to change them, guess what? you have to pay! We had a window and middle seat which meant we were hemmed in. Not too bad for a short flight but this was a bit annoying, also as it was such an early flight, it’s more likely that people drop off so if you want to get out but your neighbour/gate-keeper is asleep, it’s a flight etiquette nightmare! Do you tap them and ask to get out, hold it in and wait till they show signs of waking up, fidget and make so much noise that they do wake up? How many times can you ask them to get up during the flight? Maybe you don’t want to go to the toilet but just stretch your legs…. what a conundrum! Reading this, I am beginning to think I was over-thinking the whole thing.. but I did have time on my hands!

My neighbour was a lady in her mid to late fifties I guess, travelling with her partner and another couple who all had aisle seats so the four of them were sitting together, but apart. She was friendly enough and asked a few times during the flight if Ed was fine with his leg-room as she had offered to swap every now and then so he could stretch out for a while… very sweet of her. They were the ‘heart of gold’ category of people; this expression makes me think of people of a certain societal level, who could be seen as quite rough, possibly aggressive, violent and/or frightening often characterised by ostentatious clothes and jewellery and in women’s case, hair and make-up. In “EastEnders” there are plenty of these characters and they are frightening on the one hand, but the best friends to have on another, because although they might be criminals, and swear at you for looking at them the wrong way, they are also the type of people who would help someone out and be extremely kind in other situations.

So this pair of couples were the ‘heart of goldies’- one of the ladies was fully made up … can you imagine putting foundation and mascara etc. on before 4.am.? and the other thing that surprised me was their consumption of booze at breakfast. I know I am not drinking anymore but in my P.C. days I liked a drink and was not averse to starting early, especially on holiday, but I think the earliest I have ever started drinking beer or wine must have been 11 a.m. and even that was a very rare occurrence, after midday is usually the watershed of acceptability for booze for me. Of course, I am excluding the Christmas morning Bucks fizz or champagne breakfast on a special occasion…. mmm, are there too many exceptions? Well anyway, having a beer on the plane at around 7.30 a.m. seems early. The ladies showed more self-restraint and didn’t have any wine until the second trolley round at about 9.30 a.m.

The other category of passenger were the parents and young kids. It’s not school holidays in Holland so any kids were under four, and there were quite a few babies. Nothing against babies as such, I don’t want one myself but I don’t mind if other people do (big of me, I know) as long as they don’t scream too loudly for too long. This flight was ok, at one point there was one really loud scream, but it was noticeable for its sheer volume and pitch more than anything else. What a pair of lungs…and what I would do to have a healthy pair like that was what I was thinking, rather than being annoyed at the noise. The heart of goldies did a couple of “He-He’s” at this point.

For those readers among you who have no exposure to Dutch people or culture, then the “He He” phenomenon does need explaining. It is a noise used as an interjection in conversation to express a number of different emotions. It has different forms, intonations and meanings depending on the context so is a very flexible linguistic tool, but is quite annoying as well and once you recognise it, you can’t help but hear it everywhere. Unfortunately, having been here for over 15 years, it has found its way into my repertoire, albeit unconsciously, and despite efforts to avoid it.

A “he-he” can also take the form of a “nou-nou” “pooh-pooh” or even a “mmmm–mmmm” which is the closest it comes to English and can mean anything from:

  • I’m tired/I’m bored/I’ve had enough of this

  • Finally/about time/I’m glad that’s over/Are you going over this again?!

  • I’ve just heard something difficult/unusual and I’m not sure how to respond

  • I don’t know what to say so I will just make a sound to signify that I no longer have anything to add on this topic and want to move on

  • It’s an awkward situation with strangers, we have experienced something, do not really want to enter into conversation but want to show some solidarity and acknowledgement of our shared experience (could be in a lift, at a bus stop, in a queue, waiting rooms etc.)

Once you have identified the ‘he-he’ it’s a guaranteed way of spotting a Dutch person abroad, you literally hear them before you see them. It’s kind humorous and sad in equal measure when you are somewhere remote, beautiful and enjoying the surroundings and you hear a ‘he-he’! We experienced this when climbing a volcano somewhere in Central America. It’s not the fact that there is another Dutch person there, it’s the fact that they are using such an everyday phrase in a context that is anything but!

Another tell-tale sign we were not on routine flight was the applause on landing. It wasn't the entire plane, but a percentage of the passengers did clap when we hit the tarmac in Tenerife!.... does it matter? No, of course not, but it's just different!

We had organised special assistance at the airport because walking can be quite painful at the moment so I got wheeled through the airport on arrival, and straight outside to our 'Tui/Thomson' representative. All really well-organised and we were directed to our bus which left within a few minutes and only took about 20 minutes to get to our apartment complex. Having a transfer to the accommodation instead of having to pick up a rental car, find a local bus or negotiate a taxi-fare with a driver was a pleasant change.


 
 
 

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