I is for Inspiring

I have found a new website, appropriately named Inspire, which offers advice, forums and information about different diseases, not just cancer. There are different groups to join and share stories and experiences with people who are dealing with the same disease. I joined last week and added a post asking for some tips and comments about my new drug and have been overwhelmed by the replies and the useful comments but also general support. It's so good to hear other people's experiences, their suggestions and tips on how to deal with side-effects and also how long they have been on different medications and the effects that they have had. It is inspiring because quite a few people mentioned that they have been on Afatinib for over 2 years and it has shrunk their tumours and the side-effects have become manageable. Just things like taking the tablet at different times of day might help with stomach issues, reducing the dosage is also a option to deal with side-effects and not have significant impact on the effectivity of the drug. I mentioned this to my oncology nurse yesterday when I spoke to her and she mentioned the age-old 'quality of life' adage, but it's good to know it is an option. Other people gave tips on diet and nutrition to counteract side-effects.

So I'm feeling buoyed up, not only by the support from the website, but also the fact that I have been feeling much better over the last few days. My nurse thinks that I might have had some kind of infection or virus last week because I felt so shit and had so many problems, which doesn't really follow the normal pattern. She said the first week would normally be worse, and because I feel ok now, the dip was really severe, it sounds like there was another culprit and not just the tablets. Well, good to know. It's so weird now, every ache or pain I have, I attribute to cancer, but it's also possible that it is something else, a bug, or just aches and pains due to ageing (!).

Ed and I have been out for dinner twice in the last few days - hurray! It's so nice to go out again and look forward to choosing from a menu, sharing food and enjoying it. It was lovely last night because we took advantage of the amazing weather, went to a bar/restaurant nearby... and sat outside on the terrace, overlooking the water and a good spot for people watching. As we were sitting there, we saw loads of people going about their normal business, jogging, cycling, walking, coming back from the gym, hockey, football training etc. I sometimes feel jealous when I see people just living a normal life, probably not too aware of how lucky they are, but yesterday I didn't feel that, I was just enjoying sitting there, eating nice food (amazing seafood pasta dish!) in the warm weather with my hubby.

I'm a step closer to becoming Dutch! I went to the city hall yesterday, (for the fifth time I think!) and paid the €180 fee, signed the forms and now I just have to wait for about 3 months, then go to a ceremony in which I pledge my allegiance to the Netherlands and then I will be officially Dutch! (and British.. don't have to give up my British passport). Once I've done that, I can apply for my Dutch passport; my back-up for what the future holds once Brexit has actually happened.

I'm very excited about tomorrow; I am going to do my first Cambridge exam session since last June. I haven't been able to do any since then, the October and December sessions were just completely out of the question for me, but now I am feeling really ready. It's quite a good one tomorrow because it is a shorter day than normal. In general they are 8.30 - 16.30 or 17.00 which is a long day, especially when you need to travel, but tomorrow I don't need to be in Amsterdam until 10.45 and finish around 16.00 so it's a really good way to ease back in to it and give me an idea of how I cope with it in terms of energy levels. I've got quite a few dates scheduled in between now and the beginning of June so I'm really hoping it goes well tomorrow. It will be so nice to see colleagues and be examining again, just doing work out of the house!

Right, the sun is shining, the temperatures are going to reach the dizzy heights of 28-30 degrees today so I'm going to get out there and enjoy it. (17 degrees and rain predicted for tomorrow... quite good for a day of exams then!)